Monday, June 21, 2010
Outstanding Academic Track Record ??? pfftt!!!
i received a news by my supervisor telling me that i cannot extended my studies once the allocated time were finished. next semester going to be my fifth semester of my doctoral degree study and i am suppose to finish in 2011. The normal allocated time for doctoral studies is from two to five years in my institution however the so called standard period is three years. Even the study leaves given to us were three years. I just received the news that my contract might be terminated if i exceeded the three years normal period of doing PhD in the name of good academic track record. The state of my study currently is not in good shape since my progress had been disturbed by my obligation toward my working contract. At one stage, my research was totally shut down for a period of several months and because of that a lot of experiments need to be repeated. The worse is that i almost get 'busted' because my grade was severely affected. However, my working burden have been lifted up from last semester and i can focus on my study but the time required to re-warm my momentum and to make amendments to my research is not an instant job. I dare to say that i need to re-start from zero in term of my research. My progress just begin to be on track back when i received the news that i might not be able to furlong my contract if i do not finish my study in one more year. How on earth can i do a PhD in one year... my days ahead looks gloomy... but i cannot run away from this... at this moment, my study and job seems to be a trap that going to waste away several years of my life instead of becoming a golden opportunity once. i cannot back off now since there are contracts between me and my institution... i almost give up now and holding dearly to my last spirit not to surrender... i never regret anything in my full of challenges life before and i hope i wont regret this also... what i know now is that i need to keep moving forward and wag these gloomy days with my head high... if die i must then die i will... 'if i am destine to be a winner then i will craft my own winning trophy, if i am destine to be a loser then i will dig my own grave'... i refuse to let other people's hands to decide on my life... i will keep fighting! even there is no light can be seen now at the end of these dark tunnel, i will not give myself a turning back path... there is only one path for me... succeed or die trying!
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