Circa Politic Pasca 2008

1. sebuah radio melaporkan bahawa SPR akan memperkenalkan method baru melalui parti-parti politik untuk mendaftarkan para pengundi muda yang belum berdaftar dan jumlahnya amatlah ramai.

2. laporan itu juga menyebut kadar pendaftaran pemilih bagi bukan melayu adalah tinggi berbanding pemilih melayu selepas pilihanraya 2008.

3. pelbagai telahan boleh dibuat namun perkara pertama yang terlintas di fikiran saya adalah "anak melayu sudah muak dengan politik melayu".

4.bukan saya bermaksud anak muda melayu tidak patriotik atau tidak menyayangi bangsa dan negaranya namun saya berpendapat anak muda melayu sudah tidak berminat dengan cara pemimpin melayu berpolitik yang kelihatannya hanya menguntungkan sekelompok pihak tertentu.

5.pertelagahan antara pemimpin melayu secara terbuka juga membuatkan anak melayu menjadi keliru dan sangsi tentang keutamaan para pemimpin melayu. sikap berpolitik secara berlebihan tanpa tanda-tanda sanggup berkompromi dalam isu-isu kepentingan bersama melayu membuatkan kepercayaan generasi muda semakin terhakis.

6. selain itu, keakraban dan kesediaan para pemmpin bukan melayu dari pelbagai latar politik berbeza yang lantang secara bersama dalam memperjuangkan nasib mereka membuatkan anak melayu memikirkan pemimpin kita telah lalai dan leka dalam membela mereka dan faktor kesatuan pemimpin bukan melayu ini jugalah barangkali menjadi kunci kepada peningkatan pendaftaran pemilih baru bukan melayu.

7. tahun 2008 menyaksikan kebangkitan suatu mentaliti baru di kalangan rakyat malaysia yang menunjukkan terdapat keterbukaan dan peluang baru untuk bukan melayu. atas dasar ini beberapa rencana baru bukan melayu kelihatan mula terbentuk maka berlumba-lumbalah pemimpin bukan melayu ingin menjadi jaguh.

8. segelintir pemimpin bukan melayu juga ingin menangguk momentum kesedaran bukan melayu sehingga mengorbankan beberapa dogma pemikiran melayu yang selama ini teguh dipertahankan.

9. natijahnya semua pemimpin melayu menjadi bimbang dan ingin memenangi sokongan bukan melayu lantas mencantas kepentingan melayu. rentetan itu jugalah mula kedengaran gesaan supaya agenda melayu diberi perhatian. maka bermulalah pula era pemimpin melayu ingin menunjukkan mereka adalah jaguh melayu sedangkan tiada pemimpin bukan melayu yang bersama melaungkan hak dan kepentingan melayu.

10. apa akhirnya episod survival melayu?

* ini adalah pandangan peribadi dan saya tidak mewakili mana-mana orang lain kecuali diri saya yang dangkal.

Sebatang Rokok D Dinihari

Embun berkabus di awangan malam... Lantas berlabuh di dedaunan lalang... Deruman enjin memecah kesunyian malam... Hilai sorak bersahutan... Kerlipan neon berkerdipan di kejauhan... Bermacam ragam berderetan di ruangan mata... Rencam berkecamuk menikam jiwa... Mata yg kepenatan masih degil menyeka lambaian lena... Satu persatu anganku berlalu... Namun tiada satupun berkesudahan... Satu persatu cebisan impian menari namun tiada hujungnya... Semuanya bersesakan di dalam benak yang kian sempit ditemani runtuhan mimpi silam... Semua idea yg bercambah tercantas sendiri sebelum sempat bertunas... Bunga-bunga optimism yang lahirnya dari harapan pantas saja dipasung mati oleh dahan-dahan optimism yang asalnya kejatuhan silam... Keyakinan yg terbina ranap oleh paranoia nukilan syaitan bertopeng manusia... Yang tinggal? Aku dan kesunyian... Ditemani sebatang rokok yang asapnya tipis dan terpadam sebelum puas aku menyedutnya... Itulah resam duniawi... Tiada abadi... Tiada pasti... Kita menanti... Sebelum pergi... Namun buat kesekian kali... aku merayu lagi... Datanglah mimpi... !
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

Sleepless nite

Yet again... A nite had ceased n dawn knocking... The stars hiding behind the clouds... The sounds of train, cars, motorcycle and all sorts of vehicles buzzing and zooming through the night... The light blinking against the dark moonless sky... But me? Laying still looking to the unmoved walls of my room... Cold stink my bone... Loneliness creep on my bed... Tiredness squeezed my muscles... My brain exhausted n running at minimum speed to keep alive... My blood seems unaffected by my cold skin and keep running wild in my warm veins... Rushing through various channel but yet again make a turn through my heart... This heart never stop pumping in and out till the blood frozen... However this particular heart seems to be jolting n shocked... And I'm sure that the blood have nothing to do with it... Its caused by sumthing else... The 'heart' caused it... This 'heart' have been disturbed by several scenes flashing through my kodak head like a series of blur movie. Nothing could be seen or hear clearly but give a sense to the 'heart'... Sense of ambiguity, scare, worry, hopeless... Yeah it create a wave of 'DESPAIR'... God save me...
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

ESCAPISM

"DUP DAP DUP DAP" ........ "DUP DUP DUP"....... i almost can hear the sounds of my heart beat with my very own ears... there's some kind of volcano erupting in my heart... its feel so cold instead of burning hot... my body sweating and my hand shaking... my throat taste salty and so dry... my feet feel so numb... i don't know either its caused by the cold air vomited from my air-conditioner or my body's heat totally went off somewhere else... its not even clear to me either this shaking come from my empty stomach or also as an outcome of my inner self... but it might probably cause by the hurricane inside my head... a huge blow can be felt running through my neck to my heart... on the way down to heart the strong wind drag every single things that accumulate in my life... this huge spinning really shake my spirit and confident... all today's talk and thought and dream and vision and memories really caused a big hurricane... whatever it is i will stand still... as coconut tree... to the left, to the right, to the front and to the back... but my root will deep hanging to the pieces of sands, gravels, soils and dirt... however strong the wind is but i will never be uprooted! i refuse to surrender!!!

Outstanding Academic Track Record ??? pfftt!!!

i received a news by my supervisor telling me that i cannot extended my studies once the allocated time were finished. next semester going to be my fifth semester of my doctoral degree study and i am suppose to finish in 2011. The normal allocated time for doctoral studies is from two to five years in my institution however the so called standard period is three years. Even the study leaves given to us were three years. I just received the news that my contract might be terminated if i exceeded the three years normal period of doing PhD in the name of good academic track record. The state of my study currently is not in good shape since my progress had been disturbed by my obligation toward my working contract. At one stage, my research was totally shut down for a period of several months and because of that a lot of experiments need to be repeated. The worse is that i almost get 'busted' because my grade was severely affected. However, my working burden have been lifted up from last semester and i can focus on my study but the time required to re-warm my momentum and to make amendments to my research is not an instant job. I dare to say that i need to re-start from zero in term of my research. My progress just begin to be on track back when i received the news that i might not be able to furlong my contract if i do not finish my study in one more year. How on earth can i do a PhD in one year... my days ahead looks gloomy... but i cannot run away from this... at this moment, my study and job seems to be a trap that going to waste away several years of my life instead of becoming a golden opportunity once. i cannot back off now since there are contracts between me and my institution... i almost give up now and holding dearly to my last spirit not to surrender... i never regret anything in my full of challenges life before and i hope i wont regret this also... what i know now is that i need to keep moving forward and wag these gloomy days with my head high... if die i must then die i will... 'if i am destine to be a winner then i will craft my own winning trophy, if i am destine to be a loser then i will dig my own grave'... i refuse to let other people's hands to decide on my life... i will keep fighting! even there is no light can be seen now at the end of these dark tunnel, i will not give myself a turning back path... there is only one path for me... succeed or die trying!

The 'Big Work' @ 'Bekwoh'

'Bekwoh' is a Kelantese word referring to celebration or ceremony normally wedding celebration... some Kelantanese believe the word 'Bekwoh' originated from English Language which is 'Big Work'. in other state of Malaysia, wedding celebration normally called 'Kenduri Kahwin'. my sister's wedding was conducted on Saturday, 12th June 2010. The "akad nikah' ceremony was done on Friday, 11th of June 2010. a day before the 'akad nikah', 'majlis solat sunat hajat' was carried out which is on Thursday, 10th of June 2010. the groom's family also arrived in kelantan from Kuala Lumpur on Thursday and having their lunch at the bride house since the stayed at a nearby guest house. so the cooking and all the works started on Wednesday night, 9th of June 2010 and running at full speed on Thursday morning, 10th of June 2010. Starting from that Thursday morning until the midnight of 12th June 2010, the 'kenduri' @ 'bekwoh' were carried out for 3 days and 3 nights. cooking, washing, talking, preparing etc were conducted with a very happy mood... those were the most tiring period of my life... however, once everything settled and i saw the wide smiles on all the faces in my house, i felt occupied and satisfied... Dad, mum, grannies, sis, aunties, uncles,neighbors and everybody chattering in a very warm mood after the 'bekwoh' really wipe out all the pain and suffering in me... even though there are a lot of untold stories on my part, i still feel happy and proud... nobody thank me so far hehehe but its ok bcoz i know myself... most of the times those who we hate appreciate us more than those who we love... those who we forget might remember us more than those who we remember... its unfair? no it is the justice of God... we alwiz got what we deserve, however in the way God want it to be bcoz only God is the true master of the Universe... God is the owner and master of the Law of Nature... that what we call 'SUNNATULLAH'! wallahua'lam.